At the receiving end

I find it quite challenging to ignore a man who keeps making himself emotionally available to me. I am just so tempted to gulp it down even though i have no interest or fascination whatsoever over the man. I'm not being a smug abt it, just have this gut feeling that keeps telling me this guy is major trouble. Call it a woman's intuition....

Its a fact that my recent breakup with my fiance left a huge vacuum in my life. As much as i want fill that space, i also want to mourn over the end of a relationship.

Having a long distance relationship with my ex, meant a lot of time was spent over phone conversations & on YM. I still crave talking to my man, hell talking to any man before i go to sleep. There's this yearning to have someone that i can babble to about how my day was, to talk 'manja' with, but most importantly i want some fucking body to call me his baby!

I found it!

Finally, after years of searching, I finally found the meaning of my name!!! Initially i thought it didn't mean anything, but now i know!!!

It means 'The eye of the Storm'

No wonder lah, my life is drama-full!!!

Apparently, My life is lame!

I'm a huge fan of Gossip Girl........like i'm so up-to-date with the series, i stream it every week. Can you imagine streaming with our so called broadband....puhlease! Well, anyways, I'm done with the whole 2nd season & just cant wait for the next season to be out! Told ya i was a fan. Seriously, you can say whatever you want about these Upper Eastsiders BRATS...but you have to agree these kids have issues that you & I never ever imagine facing at that point in our lives...
So, anyways, i took this one quiz on Facebook to find out "Which GOSSIP GIRL Character Are You?" and the result is -----I'm a Blair Waldorf -----> You're pretty, sophisticated, yet at the same time you're life's pretty lame. Most of the time, the things that you want never happens. It always seems that the world's being unfair to you. Maybe that's why you're not afraid to play dirty to get what you want. Despite those bad lucks, you're very well-known among your society and you should be proud of that!

I detest this damn quiz results! My life is NOT lame! Hmmm.................actually, it is a damn good & valid point to ponder upon. As i type this, my mind is trying so hard to defend this.....But a realization sinks in.......... Life IS lame when you don’t live life to its fullest.....I know i haven't been living my life to its fullest....This is no self-pity......but just a reality check. It is important to do this reality check every now & then ;-)

Besides the lame-ness, i have some serious doubts about the 'very well-known'-ness....ishhhhh....NOW i'm worried....What in the world 'your society' means here?!!!

Inspired by Hijab blog

Here's the hijab 'Nur' rubbing off on me. For some reason i've been reading alot about hijab feshion & lifestyle. I think for me its probably the fashion flavor of the month....i think lah....

I do hope to embrace the hijab one day....InshaAllah.....

Check out the pics of Hotlips in Hijab!

A day in the life of a Corporate A&P assistant manager

Recently i had one of the most un-glamours photo shoot. My photographer & agency had to travel to the supplier that produced the award plaque. All this because we had to feature the plaques in the papers the next day.

It was such a hot day!!!! Imagine shooting just outside the supplier's office, Nasib baik kat Kajang, at least no one recognized me! (Phuh....hidung tinggi giler ;-)). But seriously, you all judge for yourselves ok. Below are the pictures. I missed Cat sooooo much during this shoot!!!!

'My crew' setting up for the shoot.

Me, this time decided to be the typical client, standing by the side. ONLY this time, i let the photographer & agency handle the shoot. I'm ALWAYS so involved in these things. But as this was such a simple shoot so i just let them have a crack at it while i do my own photo shoot?!

The plaque!!!! Frost & Sullivan BB Provider of the Year Award. The guy is wearing gloves to make sure that there no fingerprint marks on the plaque.

In the middle of that, the camera lense kotor lah pulak....We spent like 45 mins on this episode!!! After the 46th minute i told 'my crew' to wrap it up & work with whatever pictures we manage to snap. I acknowledge that the pictures needed alot of touch-up, ok lah...the size i need for the ad is sooooo tiny pun.

Transferring the pics from the camera to the lappy.

My agency selecting which pictures to use, while the client keeps her self busy clicking away her own pics....

All in all, it was much a waste of time. I should have just told the agency & the photographer to go on their own. My job was basically to supervise & keep a time check.

I'm definitely looking forward to my festive ads....Merdeka, Hari Raya & Deepavali....I hope the agency comes back with some great storyline lah....not something lame as they usually do...

Hypnotized, but not completely

Not many people know this....but I've stopped smoking. Somehow i don't like to use the word 'quit' to say I've quit smoking....it just doesn't seem right....actually rather i don't wanna jinx it by saying i quit smoking, then it becomes a challenge. Sigh!!!

Yes, Elita....i know you are saying 'I knew this woman quit smoking'. Ok lah you were right lah...its just that at that time EVEN I didn't know that i quit smoking....Like i said 'i just stopped smoking'....Whatever that means.....

But I'm still a lil apprehensive about telling the rest of my colleagues that I've 'stopped' smoking. Dunno why, but i just don't want to jinx it. At the moment, i decline smoking invitations by saying i have a sore throat & flu (WHICH IS TRUE! I'VE BEEN SICK FOR OVER A WEEK NOW. DAMN ZARIF CLINIC DOCTORS!!!) or i just lite up je lah puff for a bit, but i consciously don't like it.

Actually, how all this came about is quite interesting. On 9th of May, I made an appointment to meet this hypnotherapist for something totally different. There is this thing that i wanted to sort out subconsciously, which I'm not going to state here...sorry friends!

So anyways, I meet this guy & we spend 2-3 hours talking about stuff lah...So, incidentally while talking about my issue, i told him about my smoking and other stuff....so, we talked about 'the smoking habit' and somehow just talking to him made me stopped smoking!!!! Yes, just like that! I don't know how it happened! But my mind somehow does not crave for it anymore. I don't feel like i need my ciggies anymore and i dont miss it anymore. All this and i haven't even started my actual treatment yet!

Seriously, I really don't know how to explain this. It just happened. All we did was talk about how i feel when i lite up, what it makes me feel while i puff away, just stuff like that.....and just like that, but AGAIN, its not even the actual treatment yet!

Phew!....I know it sounds crazy. But im not crazy....I can't wait to start my treatment...my hypnosis treatment soon for X......(soon means in a few months time bcoz it cost a bomb!

Pissed at the world for no apparent reason!

Lately, i seem to be pissed at everyfuckingbody for no fucking reason! excuse my language but....seriously people, i just dont know WHY i feel this way lately.
I feel like i've been so bitchy to everybody in the office. I assure you that i AM in fact a very nice person. Honestly, I am! I am a nice person....Its just that i cant fucking figure out why the fuck i am so angry at the WORLD!

I'd like to silently apologize to everybody (mak bedah, the self-obsessed & the likes) that has encounted this episode of my life! I'm sorry for acting like a bitch...I love you all...The world would be so boring without ALL of you!

World Peace! ;-)

I will attempt to meet up with my bff before she leaves for the Europe tour for 1 whole fucking month!!! Sad but true....i think i might actually miss her.